The Silence of Goodbyes
Its be 7,670 days since you left this place.
Time has not faded the memory of your face.
I close my eyes and am transported back to that day.
As if it just happened yesterday.
The pain of contractions and the excitement of what was to come.
Turning into frantic fear and just wanting it to be done.
Nurses frantically looking for your heartbeat.
Met with nothing but silence, their bodies slumped with defeat.
Then they said the words that made it real.
You had died, the world became still.
But I had a job to do.
I still had to give birth to you.
As you emerged there was no life, there were no cries.
Only tears and mournful goodbyes.
A life I had carried for nine long months, gone.
Never would I watch you grow, my sweet sweet son.
Instead of taking you home, I had to leave you there.
My heart was broken, filled with despair.
Instead of bottles and new baby smells,
There was a funeral that had to be planned as well.
The world moved on to other things.
But still I carry you with me through winter, fall, summer, and spring.
The years have not dulled the pain.
The loss of you, the depth of despair feels the same.
An empty space in my life where you should be.
My sweet, sweet son, forever my silent baby.
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